Intimacy After an ostomy

An ostomy is a major change to your life, so it’s definitely important to find out what it’ll do to impact your activity, social life, and even diet. Your sex life and dating is another reason, but there is good news. You can still have intimacy even after an ostomy. 

How does an Ostomy Impact your intimacy 

After an ostomy surgery, you’ll learn how to clean and maintain the stoma, but also you may fee new changes due to using an ostomy pouch, but also new feelings too. You may experience anxiety, grief, even depression, and you might feel concerned about your ostomy, or worried about pouch leakage, or sometimes pain. You also may feel more energy and a better attitude, especially if the illness drained you before bowel surgery, especially if you had cancer, ulcerative colitis, or Crohn’s disease. It does impact your life, and you’ll be able to have sex lives that are normal and healthy still. 

Tips for Intimacy with an Ostomy 

First, you should make sure to give your body a chance to heal after you’ve had an ostomy surgery, and you should be doing this with all physical activities. Remember that ostomy surgeries are not a small little procedure, they can take months before you’ve fully recovered. Be gentle and patient with yourself as you get yourself together. This is a major change for many different people. Some people might need a longer recovery time, while others may need it sooner. You may also struggle with processing emotions too, including body image issues, issues with self-esteem, feeling attractive, and other complications as you get used to your stoma. Getting help and seeking out therapy and support groups is an option if you find yourself struggling. 

If you notice some side effects when you try to get intimate with someone, talk to your doctor.  This is usually quite common for those who have a rectum or large bowel removed. You may find that your sex drive has decreased, or you’re struggling to get or maintain an erection. You also may feel los of sensation around your genital area, or pain during sex. It can be embarrassing but if you talk to this now, you can figure out ways to possibly have sex without feeling pain or other complications of intercourse. You should also discuss your ostomy and intimacy with your partner. If you have someone that you’re dating that doesn’t know about the ostomy, talk to them about this. The more you talk to them about it, the better your confidence will be. You may wonder as well how to discuss feelings about the ostomy and fears too.  Try to keep open communication about the issues, surgeries, and the needs that you have surrounding intimacy and how you can work through your ostomy with this. 

If you’re ready to be intimate but your partner is not, talk to them to help discuss other concerns.  Maybe they’re worried they might hurt you or your stoma.  Work through this together. As with everything, talking to your partner about your ostomy and intimacy that surrounds it. And finally, you should make sure that your doctor gives you the green light before you start to be intimate again. Always be mindful of your stoma, and don’t do anything that could damage or hurt it. You can always discuss this as well with the medical professional to ensure nothing gets damaged during intimacy. A stoma is a big change, and it can impact your sex life. Here, we dove into what you can do to have a good sex life.